Setting Your Kids Up for Success So They Don't Need Consequences

On-Demand Class · Parenting

The more we can do to communicate our expectations to our kids in advance about what we expect them to do and how we expect them to behave, the more likely we are to get the cooperation and attitude we hope to see. Friendly but clear is the goal.

Class Description

Setting Your Kids Up for Success So They Don't Need Consequences (and What to Do When They Do Need Them) Just like adults, kids like to know what the plan is. They like to know what is expected of them and what the consequences are going to be if they don't meet our expectations. When we have done that, it helps kids feel secure because they can predict how we are going to respond--even if the response is negative. That puts the ball in the kids' court: They may choose to misbehave or not meet our expectation, but it is their choice to make. That makes it easier for kids to accept a no answer or a negative conseqeunce. In the same way, when we know that we have outlined our expectations thoroughly and trained our kids by giving them any practical or social/emotional skills they need to meet our expectaion, that makes it easy for us to follow through consistently. When we have absolutely no doubts as to whether our children understood what we were asking of them--and we have gotten our kids' agreement on the issue--we can allow the consequence to do the teaching. We don't have to add guilt or shame. This allows learning to happen while keeping the personal relationship between parents and kids strong. That's a win-win solution. Learn the 3 steps that parents are responsible for when it comes to setting our kids up for success: 1. Assuring good sleep, nutrition and exercise. 2. Connecting our clear expectations to prioritized values 3. Anticipating and Preteaching skills our kids will need to meet our expecations If our kids fail to meet our expectations despite our setting them up for success, then we have to 1. Have agreements about how they want us to respond 2. Have consequences we have announced in advance that are going to teach them what they need for next time 3. Have consequences that make amends. Get started today with this lively lesson that gives lots of concrete examples and opportunities for developing your skills.

Class Materials

A way of taking notes

Your Instructor

Elisabeth Stitt

Author and award winning parent educator Elisabeth Stitt founded Joyful Parenting Coaching in 2014 to give parents the skills they need to be confident and joyous. Over the course of her 25-year teaching career (mostly middle school English), Elisabeth saw how parents were becoming increasingly isolated and were coming to parenting with little or no actual hands on experience with kids. Parents used to turn to family and neighbors for models in how to parent: Today they have to seek out information and support from professionals. Through her weekly newsletter, in-person workshops, one-on-one coaching and online webinars, Elisabeth helps parents establish harmonious households so they can have the loving, effective relationships with their kids that they want. To Elisabeth, effective parenting comes down to three main ideas: Clarity, Connection and Consistency. She wants parents to have a gameplan for where they are going, have a warm bond with their kids and to provide a secure envirnment where kids know what to expect. Elisabeth reminds parents that parenting is a skill: It can be taught, learned and practiced; and Elisabeth can help with that!

Degrees and Certifications

California Single Subject Teachers Certification (English, German) Certified Co-Active Professional Coach (CCPC), Coaches Training Institute, San Rafael, CA

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