logo
BabySparks
logo
  • What is BabySparks?
  • The Science
  • Childcare Providers
  • Learning Center
  • Get BabySparks
  • en
    • es
Prev
0
Feeding Your Vegan Baby or Toddler
06 January 2021
Next
0
What is Sensory Processing Disorder?
19 January 2021
Parenting
Toddler Favoritism: What Does it Mean & What Do You Do?
12 January, 2021 by BabySparks in Parenting

toddler favoritismIt’s true. Toddlers play favorites! While you may feel like the only parent in the world who’s been snubbed by your little one, it actually happens a lot. It’s incredibly common for a toddler to wake up one morning and decide that they prefer one parent over the other, or vise-versa. One day they’re gazing up at you lovingly, and the next you feel like you’re in high school all over again vying for the attention of the cool kids. 

Highlights:

  • Toddlers favoring one parent over the other is very common!
  • Parent favoritism is often the result of feeling more connected to the parent they spend more time with. It can also be a personality thing, or a toddler exercising their independence. 
  • If you’re the “unfavored” parent, remember that:
  • It’s not personal.
  • Resenting your partner or co-parent can make it worse.
  • Building in more 1-on-1 time with your toddler can help.
  • Patience pays off; favoritism changes with time! 

Why Toddlers Play Favorites

Toddlers can play favorites for a variety of reasons. The most obvious are time, attention, and routines. Remember that having daily routines can make a child feel safe and secure, so if mom is the one the child shares most routines with, she may be the default favorite. Sometimes it can be gender or personality specific. Or, maybe they’re just exercising their right to be independent and choose what they want (I want Dada to do it!). 

Regardless of the reason for toddler favoritism, it’s important to know how to deal with it. 

Tips for Dealing with Toddler Favoritism 

Don’t Take it Personally 

This is easier said than done. It can feel hurtful to have your child push you out of the bathroom because they want mom to help them brush their teeth. However, this doesn’t mean your child doesn’t love you, or that they’re trying to hurt your feelings. They’re not that emotionally sophisticated yet! They show preference for one parent the same way they show preference for a particular piece of clothing. Just keep in mind that it’s not personal, and it’s temporary.

Don’t Resent Your Partner

Toddlers choose favorites on their own. Chances are your toddler’s internal instinct towards attachment and safety is guiding their favoritism at this point. Your partner is not coaching them or pushing them to behave this way. Even though these acts of favoritism can leave a bitter taste in your mouth, it’s important to work this out together. In addition, remember that toddlers can be more perceptive than you think. If you start acting resentful towards your partner, your toddler may start to pick up on it. 

Shoot for Some One-on-One Time 

Try to carve out some one-on-one bonding time with your little one. Take a walk. Run errands together. Grab some frozen yogurt. It doesn’t really matter what the activity is, it’s simply about spending more time together. 

Share Caretaking Duties 

It’s common for one parent to handle the bulk of caretaking duties, such as meals, baths, and bedtime, which can be primetime bonding activities (unless your toddler is throwing a tantrum over eating peas). To help strike more of a balance, try splitting up the caretaking duties or do them together. Spending more time with the unfavored parent in daily routines can help revive the bonding experience. 

Support the Unfavored Parent

If you’re the parent who currently gets to be the favorite, remember to speak highly of your partner throughout the day and name drop as much as possible. “Do you know who loves this book? Your momma! I bet she really wants to read it with you when she gets home.” 

Don’t Force It

Pushing a toddler to spend time with the unfavored parent can actually make things worse. Remember, throughout this favorite-parent stage, it’s important to do what works, not what you think is right. When you force it, you’ll likely create unnecessary tantrums. The goal is to respond with empathy, understanding, and love. You’ll be there for them when they’re ready. 

While it never feels good to be the unfavored parent, remember that your day will come! Children switch up their favorites all the time. Sooner or later, this preference stage will end, and you won’t feel like you’re being ignored by the popular kid in the house. Stay strong and keep keepin’ on! 

0 Comments
  • behavior
  • toddler
  • parenting
  • social-emotional
0 Like!
Share
BabySparks

Recent comments

    Tags

    baby child cognitive feeding fine motor gross motor health language language skills milestones parenting sensory social-emotional speech toddler
    ABOUT US
    THE TEAM
    TERMS OF SERVICE AND PRIVACY POLICY
    support@babysparks.com
    FacebookInstagramPinterestTwitter
    Copyright © 2020 BabySparks LLC. All rights reserved
    logo
    X
    GET BABYSPARKS
    Step 2 of 2
    ACTIVITY PACKAGE:
    (All Prices in USD)

    Form of Payment

    Monthly: $1.25 per month/per child
    Annually: $12.00 per year/per child (20% discount)

    Form of Payment

    Monthly: $2.25 per month/per child
    Annually: $21.50 per year/per child (20% discount)

    Form of Payment

    Monthly: $5.00 per month/per child
    Annually: $45.00 per year/per child (25% discount)

    Number of children:

    x per child

    Total Amount

    SELECT YOUR METHOD OF PAYMENT
    * Required field
    Buy now BS

    BabySparks Premium Gives You…

    Access to 1,300+ development activities & milestones

    An expert-created program to support the development of children under your care

    Tools to increase family engagement, invite each family to use the program at home

    Ability to track each child's progress in real-time (and share it with his/her family)

    Add unlimited children, caregivers and locations to your account

    Manage and track progress across your organization through our desktop dashboard

    Cancel your subscription at any time

    By clicking on the button below, you agree to our Terms of Service & privacy policy.
    X
    EDIT YOUR ACCOUNT
    Your account
    Change your password
    X
    EDIT YOUR METHOD OF PAYMENT
    Update payment method
    * Required field
    Buy now BS
    By clicking on the button below, you agree to our Terms of Service & privacy policy.
    X
    UPDATE YOUR PACKAGE
    Your Activity Package
    (All Prices in USD)

    1 Month

    $ 3 99

    per month

    1 Year

    $ 23 99

    per year

    Update your package at any time
    (All Prices in USD)
    Pay as you go

    1 Month

    $ 3 99

    per month

    50% Discount

    1 Year

    $ 23 99

    per year

    60% Discount

    Lifetime

    $ 39 99

    one time

    How does it work?

    You can change your activity package at any time.

    The change will take place at the end of your current subscription period.

    You will only be charged the new rate once the change takes place.

    Cancel Activity Package
    X
    LOGIN BABYSPARKS

    Forgot your password?

    X
    PASSWORD RESET
    X
    RESET PASSWORD
    X
    GET BABYSPARKS
    Step 1 of 2
    Create Your Account

    Already Have an Account? Login

    X
    GET BABYSPARKS
    Step 1 of 2
    Create Your Account

    Already Have an Account? Login

    X
    GET BABYSPARKS
    Step 2 of 2
    Logged in as: (Not me)
    Select Your Activity Package
    (All Prices in USD)
    Pay as you go

    1 Month

    $ 3 99

    per month

    YOUR OFFER

    $ 2 99

    50% Discount

    1 Year

    $ 1 99

    per month

    Paid Annually: $23.99
    YOUR OFFER

    $ 2 99

    60% Discount

    Lifetime

    $ 39 99

    one time

    YOUR OFFER

    $ 2 99

    BabySparks Premium Gives You…

    Access to 1,300+ development activities & milestones

    An expert-created program to support your child’s development

    Weekly development reports summarize progress

    Browse activities for any situation

    Expert-written articles about development

    Sync up to 5 devices (add family and caregivers)

    Add up to 5 babies to your account

    Cancel your susbcription at any time

    * Required field
    Buy now BS
    By clicking on the button below, you agree to our Terms of Service & privacy policy.