logo
BabySparks
logo
  • What is BabySparks?
  • The Science
  • Childcare Providers
  • Learning Center
  • Get BabySparks
  • en
    • es
Prev
Helping toddlers cope with fear 0
Helping Toddlers Cope with Fear
09 January 2020
Next
0
Stages of Social Play: 24-36 Months
10 January 2020
Social - Emotional
Teaching Positive Assertiveness to Toddlers
9 January, 2020 by BabySparks in Social - Emotional
Teaching toddlers positive assertiveness

 

There’s a big difference between being bossy and being assertive, but these concepts are tricky to separate, especially with little ones who are growing into their own personalities. You see your toddler yell at a playmate for taking the toy he’s playing with, and you automatically cringe. In reality, your toddler is learning to stand up for himself. In other words, he’s being assertive and sticking up for what he thinks is right.That is quite a feat for a little guy!

 

From 12 to 36 months of age, the way your child plays, shares, and socializes will change a lot. During the earlier part of toddlerhood, he’ll be less likely to want to share with others and more likely to throw a tantrum if he doesn’t get his way. Around 20 months, he’ll start understanding concepts of “self” and “needs/wants” more, which is when you might begin to see more of his bossy side show through.

Highlights: 

  • Around 20 months, toddlers begin to understand the concepts of “self” and “needs/wants”, which is when you start to see their bossy side emerge!
  • There is a big difference between being bossy and being assertive. Bossiness is when a toddler tries to make things go their way, and assertiveness is when they defend themselves, their wants, and their needs. 
  • Here are a few tips for discouraging bossiness while encouraging positive assertiveness:
    • Be mindful of tone and use positive language. 
    • Don’t let their bossiness slide and try not to give in when they leave their manners behind. 
    • Supervise their play. This can help you monitor any bossy behavior and support their learning at the same time. 

 

Bossy vs. Assertive

 

Bossiness is your toddler getting mad at a playmate for not playing with the kitchen set the “right” way. Assertiveness is your toddler saying, “I don’t want to play that” or moving away to play with something else after his friend keeps poking him to continue playing. See the difference?

 

Being bossy is a way to try to make things go your way. Assertiveness is defending yourself, your needs, and your wants. Bossiness is common in toddlerhood, a time when children are still figuring out how to be social and play peacefully. If a pattern of bossiness continues without support and intervention from parents and caregivers, it could lead to bullying behaviors in the future.

 

Teaching Positive Assertiveness

 

Positive assertiveness allows your toddler to express his feelings, needs, and wants in a productive way, which is key to forming healthy relationships. Here are a few tips for supporting positive assertiveness:

 

Be mindful of your tone.

 

Toddlers mimic what they see, so it’s crucial for parents and caregivers to model the type of behavior they want their toddlers to have. In this case, using positive language can go a long way.

 

Try using “yes” instead of “no” more often. For example, if your toddler asks for a snack before dinner, you might say, “Yes, after you finish eating dinner.” He won’t be met with an immediate negative response and will, instead, feel like his needs and wants are valid.

 

Also, using manners and positive directions, like “Please try to use the potty before going to bed,” instead of, “Use the potty or no bedtime story!” will go a long way toward teaching your toddler positive communication.

 

Don’t let bossiness slide.

 

While it’s essential to model positive communication around your toddler, it’s equally as important not to give into him. If he throws a tantrum or demands something while leaving his manners behind, ignore his pleas. Giving in to his behavior will only show him that being bossy will, eventually, work to benefit him.

 

Supervise his play.

 

Staying involved with your toddler’s play has two primary benefits:

 

  1. You can monitor his play and intervene if he starts to become bossy, and
  2. You can support his learning by stepping in and role-playing some situations.

 

As he plays with his friends, simply stay close by and observe. If he begins to try to take control of the situation, you can jump in and offer to play, too. When you do, show your toddler how fun it can be to share with others and play what they want to play. Use positive assertiveness (like a polite, “No, thank you” if a child takes another child’s toy) to model how to handle a situation.

 

There is no magical solution for transforming your toddler’s behavior from bossy to assertive. It’s going to take time and a lot of support, especially during his second year when he’s learning more about himself, how to get what he needs and wants, and how to interact with others. With regular support and guidance, you can help your toddler grow into a confident and positive communicator.

 

The social-emotional section of the BabySparks development program has several toddler activities that promote empathy and positive socialization.

 

0 Comments
  • play
  • social skills
  • toddler
  • social-emotional
0 Like!
Share
BabySparks

Recent comments

    Tags

    baby child cognitive feeding fine motor gross motor health language language skills milestones parenting sensory social-emotional speech toddler
    ABOUT US
    THE TEAM
    TERMS OF SERVICE AND PRIVACY POLICY
    support@babysparks.com
    FacebookInstagramPinterestTwitter
    Copyright © 2020 BabySparks LLC. All rights reserved
    logo
    X
    GET BABYSPARKS
    Step 2 of 2
    ACTIVITY PACKAGE:
    (All Prices in USD)

    Form of Payment

    Monthly: $1.25 per month/per child
    Annually: $12.00 per year/per child (20% discount)

    Form of Payment

    Monthly: $2.25 per month/per child
    Annually: $21.50 per year/per child (20% discount)

    Form of Payment

    Monthly: $5.00 per month/per child
    Annually: $45.00 per year/per child (25% discount)

    Number of children:

    x per child

    Total Amount

    SELECT YOUR METHOD OF PAYMENT
    * Required field
    Buy now BS

    BabySparks Premium Gives You…

    Access to 1,300+ development activities & milestones

    An expert-created program to support the development of children under your care

    Tools to increase family engagement, invite each family to use the program at home

    Ability to track each child's progress in real-time (and share it with his/her family)

    Add unlimited children, caregivers and locations to your account

    Manage and track progress across your organization through our desktop dashboard

    Cancel your subscription at any time

    By clicking on the button below, you agree to our Terms of Service & privacy policy.
    X
    EDIT YOUR ACCOUNT
    Your account
    Change your password
    X
    EDIT YOUR METHOD OF PAYMENT
    Update payment method
    * Required field
    Buy now BS
    By clicking on the button below, you agree to our Terms of Service & privacy policy.
    X
    UPDATE YOUR PACKAGE
    Your Activity Package
    (All Prices in USD)

    1 Month

    $ 3 99

    per month

    1 Year

    $ 23 99

    per year

    Update your package at any time
    (All Prices in USD)
    Pay as you go

    1 Month

    $ 3 99

    per month

    50% Discount

    1 Year

    $ 23 99

    per year

    60% Discount

    Lifetime

    $ 39 99

    one time

    How does it work?

    You can change your activity package at any time.

    The change will take place at the end of your current subscription period.

    You will only be charged the new rate once the change takes place.

    Cancel Activity Package
    X
    LOGIN BABYSPARKS

    Forgot your password?

    X
    PASSWORD RESET
    X
    RESET PASSWORD
    X
    GET BABYSPARKS
    Step 1 of 2
    Create Your Account

    Already Have an Account? Login

    X
    GET BABYSPARKS
    Step 1 of 2
    Create Your Account

    Already Have an Account? Login

    X
    GET BABYSPARKS
    Step 2 of 2
    Logged in as: (Not me)
    Select Your Activity Package
    (All Prices in USD)
    Pay as you go

    1 Month

    $ 3 99

    per month

    YOUR OFFER

    $ 2 99

    50% Discount

    1 Year

    $ 1 99

    per month

    Paid Annually: $23.99
    YOUR OFFER

    $ 2 99

    60% Discount

    Lifetime

    $ 39 99

    one time

    YOUR OFFER

    $ 2 99

    BabySparks Premium Gives You…

    Access to 1,300+ development activities & milestones

    An expert-created program to support your child’s development

    Weekly development reports summarize progress

    Browse activities for any situation

    Expert-written articles about development

    Sync up to 5 devices (add family and caregivers)

    Add up to 5 babies to your account

    Cancel your susbcription at any time

    * Required field
    Buy now BS
    By clicking on the button below, you agree to our Terms of Service & privacy policy.