{"id":7863,"date":"2020-05-07T07:25:57","date_gmt":"2020-05-07T15:25:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/?p=7863"},"modified":"2021-02-17T08:16:56","modified_gmt":"2021-02-17T16:16:56","slug":"why-tone-matters-when-talking-to-babies-toddlers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2020\/05\/07\/why-tone-matters-when-talking-to-babies-toddlers\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Tone Matters When Talking to Babies &#038; Toddlers"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\"><p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-7865 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/20415a-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"Why tone matters when talking to children\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/20415a-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/20415a-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/20415a.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>When it comes to effective communication, tone is everything. In fact, the tone we use when conveying a message can sometimes say more than the message itself. Tone is simply defined as \u2018<em>the way in which we speak.\u2019<\/em> Not what we say, but <em>how<\/em> we say it. It\u2019s important to be mindful of our tone when talking to others, but especially when we\u2019re talking to children.<\/p>\n<p>Now, is it easy to control your tone when you discover your 2-year-old drawing on the walls with a permanent marker? Probably not. The point is to be more aware. Understanding the impact of tone on development can help us find the right tone of voice when it matters most.<\/p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><b><i>Highlights:\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tone is simply defined as \u2018the way in which we speak\u2019. Not what we say, but how we say it.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While it\u2019s impossible to control our tone all of the time, it is important to be mindful of our tone when speaking to children.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When caregivers yell, toddlers will focus on the emotion rather than the message. In addition, using loud or aggressive tones can have a negative effect on a child\u2019s self-esteem, behavior, and their own ability to communicate.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Using positive, gentle, and calm tones can:<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be more effective when disciplining.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Help toddlers become better listeners. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Help model the behavior we wish to see.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Strengthen bonds and build trust.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<h2>When the Importance of Tone Begins<\/h2>\n<p>If you think about it, our tone is basically the foundation of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2019\/09\/06\/is-it-okay-to-use-baby-talk\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>baby talk<\/strong><\/a>. When we talk to babies, we use a high-pitched tone with exaggerated emotions. Babies have no idea what we\u2019re saying, but <a href=\"https:\/\/www.jstor.org\/stable\/1131209?seq=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>research<\/strong><\/a> shows that babies as young as 5-months old can detect if a message is positive or negative. Babies are very sensitive to their caregivers\u2019 tone of voice. You can use a calming, soothing tone to talk or sing your baby to sleep or use a sharp, stern \u201cStop!\u201d to protect them from touching something hot. This shows us that before babies understand words, they understand tone.<\/p>\n<h2>Why Tone Matters When Parenting<\/h2>\n<p>Before we discuss the benefits of using calm tones when parenting, let\u2019s quickly point out that every parent yells. At one point or another, emotions take over staying calm feels out-of-reach. It\u2019s all part of being a parent and a human being. However, as most parents and caregivers already know, yelling represents a loss of control. Young children, especially toddlers, are less likely to hear your message when it\u2019s delivered in a loud, negative, and possibly aggressive tone. Toddlers will focus on the emotion instead of the message itself. In addition, when parents or caregivers yell often, it can have a negative effect on a child\u2019s self-esteem, behavior, and their own ability to communicate.<\/p>\n<p>Even when it\u2019s time to discipline, it is possible to be firm without using a harsh tone. It takes time and patience (a lot of patience) to adapt to calmer tones when addressing a toddler\u2019s behavior, but there are important benefits that come along with changing our tone.<\/p>\n<p><strong>First, it\u2019s more effective.<\/strong> Using a gentle tone can help parents and caregivers focus on their intended message, while toddlers can focus on the lesson at hand.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Second, using a calm tone can help our children become better listeners.<\/strong> Think of loud and negative tones as a set of earplugs. Children have an emotional reaction to these tones that prevents them from being able to actually listen. The more you use calming tones, the more opportunities your child has to practice active listening.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Third, when we use positive and calming tones, especially in stressful moments, we\u2019re modeling the type of behavior we wish to see in our children. <\/strong>Using the right tone can help our little ones understand how <a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2019\/03\/11\/self-regulation-skills-how-to-lay-the-foundation\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>self-regulation<\/strong><\/a> works.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lastly, being aware of your tone brings you and your child closer together. <\/strong>Positive, reassuring, and gentle tones build trust and strengthen the bond between the two of you. Using the right tone is a sign of respect and love.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s impossible to <em>always<\/em> use the right tone at the right time. But when we aim for calmer tones with children, we\u2019re helping them form a sense of self, communication skills, and better relationships.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]When it comes to effective communication, tone is everything. In fact, the tone we use when conveying a message can sometimes say more than the message itself. Tone is simply<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7865,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,23,25],"tags":[996,1687,3275,3278,3291],"age":[69,70,71,2858,2859,2860,2861],"class_list":["post-7863","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-speech","category-social-emotional","category-parenting","tag-discipline","tag-toddler","tag-parenting-3","tag-baby-2","tag-social-emotional-2","age-16-18-months","age-19-21-months","age-22-24-months","age-25-27-months","age-28-30-months","age-31-33-months","age-34-36-months"],"translation":{"provider":"WPGlobus","version":"2.12.2","language":"en","enabled_languages":["en","es"],"languages":{"en":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false},"es":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false}}},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.2 (Yoast SEO v25.2) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Tone Matters When Talking to Babies &amp; 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