{"id":5578,"date":"2020-01-14T14:06:32","date_gmt":"2020-01-14T22:06:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/?p=5578"},"modified":"2021-01-19T07:37:32","modified_gmt":"2021-01-19T15:37:32","slug":"helping-your-toddler-through-a-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2020\/01\/14\/helping-your-toddler-through-a-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Your Toddler Through a Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\"><p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]<\/p>\r\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-5577\" src=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20302a.jpg\" alt=\"Helping a toddler through divorce\" width=\"376\" height=\"250\" srcset=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20302a.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20302a-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20302a-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 376px) 100vw, 376px\" \/><\/figure>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Divorce is difficult. Period. Between the messy emotions, new living arrangements, and disruptions in your routine, divorce can turn your whole world upside down. While divorce can be personally painful, when young children are involved the process can feel even more complicated. Toddlers aren\u2019t old enough to understand the complex nature of a divorce, but they can pick up on the stressful emotions and tense discourse happening around the house.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>It\u2019s important to understand what divorce looks like through a toddler\u2019s eyes, so you can provide clarity, support, and comfort through this challenging time. We&#8217;ll get to that in detail, but first let&#8217;s take a look at some good news from research.<\/p>\r\n<table>\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>\r\n<p><b><i>Highlights:\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While divorce is difficult for anyone, it can be especially complicated when young children are involved.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fortunately, research shows us how resilient children really are. When parents take appropriate steps to help toddlers adjust, they\u2019re less likely to show developmental issues as a result of a divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are a few tips to help guide a toddler through a divorce:\u00a0<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Provide reassurance.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be direct and keep it simple when discussing the divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be careful with your words and avoid talking negatively about your co-parent in front of your toddler.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be prepared for behavioral issues.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Create special rituals together and try to stick to routines.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A Positive Note from Divorce Research<\/h2>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>No two divorces are the same, so remember that every parent and child will handle divorce differently. Still, many parents and caregivers worry about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.huffpost.com\/entry\/does-divorce-inevitably-d_b_878797\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"the long-term effects of divorce (opens in a new tab)\">the long-term effects of divorce<\/a> on young children. Fortunately, there\u2019s plenty of divorce research out there and the results shine a light on how resilient children really are. For instance, researchers measured the average effects of divorce on young children three years after a separation and found no developmental differences in comparison to children whose parents were still together. This means that when both parents take the appropriate steps to help toddlers adjust to a divorce, everyone has an opportunity to learn, grow, and recover.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Tips for Parents and Caregivers<\/h2>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Here are a few key things to remember when guiding a toddler through a divorce.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Provide Reassurance <\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Marriage and family therapists remind divorcing couples to consistently reassure toddlers that they are loved and will be cared for. Divorce disrupts your toddler\u2019s daily routine, so it\u2019s important to help her feel secure by continuously reassuring<br \/>her that everything will be okay.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Be Direct and Keep it Simple<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>When discussing divorce with your toddler, stick to the facts and keep the conversations as simple as possible. Give her the details she needs to know about her new routine and living arrangements. \u201cYour dad will live that house and you and I will live here. Sometimes, you will live in the other house with your dad, while I stay here.\u201d Toddlers don\u2019t fully grasp the concept of time yet, so remind her of her new routine each day. Reinforce the idea that someone will always be there for critical moments such as meals, bath time, and bedtime.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Encourage Expressing Thoughts and Feelings <\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>It\u2019s difficult for toddlers to see things from a different perspective, so yours will mainly be concerned about how the divorce affects her. She might feel sad, angry, or confused when she hears that one parent won\u2019t be there for dinner or<br \/>playtime. Let her know that it\u2019s okay to have those feelings, and she can express her anger or sadness with either parent whenever she needs to.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Be Careful with Your Words <\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Remember that it\u2019s never appropriate to talk negatively about your co-parent in front of your toddler. She may not understand the elements of a divorce, but she <em>can <\/em>detect when there\u2019s animosity between her caregivers. A healthy relationship<br \/>with both parents is central to her development, so it\u2019s important that all parties involved are careful with their words.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Be Prepared for Behavioral Issues <\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Because toddlers are still learning how to manage big feelings, there is a strong chance they will react to a divorce through behavior. Your little one might throw a few more <a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2019\/10\/30\/toddler-tantrums-when-tantrums-are-more-than-just-tantrums\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"tantrums (opens in a new tab)\">tantrums<\/a>, test boundaries, and maybe even show signs of regression (sucking her thumb or refusing to sleep in her own bed). Remember that these behaviors are common, and with sensitive support from you they will likely diminish over time.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Have Rituals and Stick to Routines<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>It can be helpful for both you and your co-parent to have a special ritual with your child when it\u2019s time to transition from one home to the other. Make a list of her <a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2019\/10\/08\/transitional-objects-how-your-childs-favorite-stuffed-animal-promotes-social-emotional-development\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"favorite toys (opens in a new tab)\">favorite toys<\/a> and pick a special one each week to bring to her other home. Discuss what she\u2019s excited to do at her dad\u2019s house while you share a snack. Read a book together, preferably one that touches on this theme, such as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Two-Homes-Claire-Masurel\/dp\/0763619841\/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=1573506687&amp;sr=1-1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"Two Homes (opens in a new tab)\">Two Homes<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/My-Familys-Changing-First-Look\/dp\/0764109952\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"My Family\u2019s Changing (opens in a new tab)\">My Family\u2019s Changing<\/a>. Both are positive and comforting stories for little ones adapting to a divorce.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Creating and sticking to new routines and rituals is one of the most important steps to take during and after a divorce, because it builds a sense of stability during a time of big change.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] &nbsp; Divorce is difficult. Period. Between the messy emotions, new living arrangements, and disruptions in your routine, divorce can turn your whole world upside down. While divorce can be<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5577,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,25],"tags":[3275,3291],"age":[69,70,71,2858,2859,2860,2861],"class_list":["post-5578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-social-emotional","category-parenting","tag-parenting-3","tag-social-emotional-2","age-16-18-months","age-19-21-months","age-22-24-months","age-25-27-months","age-28-30-months","age-31-33-months","age-34-36-months"],"translation":{"provider":"WPGlobus","version":"2.12.2","language":"en","enabled_languages":["en","es"],"languages":{"en":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false},"es":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false}}},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.2 (Yoast SEO v25.2) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Helping Your Toddler Through a Divorce - 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