{"id":5534,"date":"2020-01-09T11:06:49","date_gmt":"2020-01-09T19:06:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/?p=5534"},"modified":"2020-12-22T08:20:51","modified_gmt":"2020-12-22T16:20:51","slug":"teaching-positive-assertiveness-to-toddlers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2020\/01\/09\/teaching-positive-assertiveness-to-toddlers\/","title":{"rendered":"Teaching Positive Assertiveness to Toddlers"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\"><p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]<\/p>\r\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-5533\" src=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20299a.jpg\" alt=\"Teaching toddlers positive assertiveness\" width=\"348\" height=\"231\" srcset=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20299a.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20299a-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20299a-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 348px) 100vw, 348px\" \/><\/figure>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>There\u2019s a big difference between being bossy and being assertive, but these concepts are tricky to separate, especially with little ones who are growing into their own personalities. You see your toddler yell at a playmate for taking the toy he\u2019s playing with, and you automatically cringe. In reality, your toddler is learning to stand up for himself. In other words, he\u2019s being assertive and sticking up for what he thinks is right.That is quite a feat for a little guy!<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>From 12 to 36 months of age, the way your child plays, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2019\/03\/06\/why-is-it-so-hard-for-toddlers-to-share\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"shares (opens in a new tab)\">shares<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2019\/03\/11\/solitary-parallel-play-why-babies-toddlers-play-alone-together\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"socializes (opens in a new tab)\">socializes<\/a> will change a lot. During the earlier part of toddlerhood, he\u2019ll be less likely to want to share with others and more likely to throw a tantrum if he doesn\u2019t get his way. Around 20 months, he\u2019ll start understanding concepts of \u201cself\u201d and \u201cneeds\/wants\u201d more, which is when you might begin to see more of his bossy side show through.<\/p>\r\n<table>\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>\r\n<p><b><i>Highlights:\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Around 20 months, toddlers begin to understand the concepts of \u201cself\u201d and \u201cneeds\/wants\u201d, which is when you start to see their bossy side emerge!<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is a big difference between being bossy and being assertive. Bossiness is when a toddler tries to make things go their way, and assertiveness is when they defend themselves, their wants, and their needs.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are a few tips for discouraging bossiness while encouraging positive assertiveness:<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be mindful of tone and use positive language.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t let their bossiness slide and try not to give in when they leave their manners behind.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Supervise their play. This can help you monitor any bossy behavior and support their learning at the same time.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Bossy vs. Assertive<\/h2>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Bossiness is your toddler getting mad at a playmate for not playing with the kitchen set the \u201cright\u201d way. Assertiveness is your toddler saying, \u201cI don\u2019t want to play that\u201d or moving away to play with something else after his friend keeps poking him to continue playing. See the difference?<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Being bossy is a way to try to make things go your way. Assertiveness is defending yourself, your needs, and your wants. Bossiness is common in toddlerhood, a time when children are still figuring out how to be social and play peacefully. If a pattern of bossiness continues without support and intervention from parents and caregivers, it could lead to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.promoteprevent.org\/sites\/www.promoteprevent.org\/files\/resources\/Eyes%20on%20Bullying%20in%20Early%20Childhood_1.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"bullying behaviors (opens in a new tab)\">bullying behaviors<\/a> in the future.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Teaching Positive Assertiveness<\/h2>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Positive assertiveness allows your toddler to express his feelings, needs, and wants in a productive way, which is key to forming healthy relationships. Here are a few tips for supporting positive assertiveness:<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Be mindful of your tone.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Toddlers mimic what they see, so it\u2019s crucial for parents and caregivers to model the type of behavior they want their toddlers to have. In this case, using positive language can go a long way.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Try using \u201cyes\u201d instead of \u201cno\u201d more often. For example, if your toddler asks for a snack before dinner, you might say, \u201cYes, after you finish eating dinner.\u201d He won\u2019t be met with an immediate negative response and will, instead, feel like his needs and wants are valid.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Also, using manners and positive directions, like \u201cPlease try to use the potty before going to bed,\u201d instead of, \u201cUse the potty or no bedtime story!\u201d will go a long way toward teaching your toddler positive communication.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Don\u2019t let bossiness slide.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>While it\u2019s essential to model positive communication around your toddler, it\u2019s equally as important <em>not<\/em> to give into him. If he throws a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2019\/10\/25\/toddler-tantrums-when-and-why-do-they-happen\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"tantrum (opens in a new tab)\">tantrum<\/a> or demands something while leaving his manners behind, ignore his pleas. Giving in to his behavior will only show him that being bossy will, eventually, work to benefit him.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Supervise his play.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>Staying involved with your toddler\u2019s play has two primary benefits:<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\r\n<li>You can monitor his play and intervene if he starts to become bossy, and<\/li>\r\n<li>You can support his learning by stepping in and role-playing some situations.<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>As he plays with his friends, simply stay close by and observe. If he begins to try to take control of the situation, you can jump in and offer to play, too. When you do, show your toddler how fun it can be to share with others and play what they want to play. Use positive assertiveness (like a polite, \u201cNo, thank you\u201d if a child takes another child\u2019s toy) to model how to handle a situation.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>There is no magical solution for transforming your toddler\u2019s behavior from bossy to assertive. It\u2019s going to take time and a lot of support, especially during his second year when he\u2019s learning more about himself, how to get what he needs and wants, and how to interact with others. With regular support and guidance, you can help your toddler grow into a confident and positive communicator.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>The social-emotional section of the BabySparks development program has several toddler activities that promote empathy and positive socialization.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] &nbsp; There\u2019s a big difference between being bossy and being assertive, but these concepts are tricky to separate, especially with little ones who are growing into their own personalities.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5533,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[101,993,1687,3291],"age":[68,69,70,71,2858,2859,2860,2861],"class_list":["post-5534","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-social-emotional","tag-play","tag-social-skills","tag-toddler","tag-social-emotional-2","age-13-15-months","age-16-18-months","age-19-21-months","age-22-24-months","age-25-27-months","age-28-30-months","age-31-33-months","age-34-36-months"],"translation":{"provider":"WPGlobus","version":"2.12.2","language":"en","enabled_languages":["en","es"],"languages":{"en":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false},"es":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false}}},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.2 (Yoast SEO v25.2) - 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