{"id":4246,"date":"2019-07-05T05:44:12","date_gmt":"2019-07-05T13:44:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/?p=4246"},"modified":"2020-11-18T06:02:19","modified_gmt":"2020-11-18T14:02:19","slug":"parenting-with-your-partner-how-to-get-on-the-same-page","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2019\/07\/05\/parenting-with-your-partner-how-to-get-on-the-same-page\/","title":{"rendered":"Parenting with your Partner: How to Get on the Same Page"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-4245 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/20225a-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"Parenting on the Same Page\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/20225a-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/20225a-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/20225a.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Disagreeing with your partner about parenting is a common <a href=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2019\/03\/01\/caring-for-your-marriage-while-caring-for-your-baby\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">issue couples face after having children<\/a>. Deciding on a set of \u201crules,\u201d so to speak, can help you create a positive and consistent approach that makes your day-to-day easier <em>and <\/em>benefits your little one(s).<\/p>\n<p>Studies show that couples struggling to parent on the same page during their children\u2019s early years is linked to negative outcomes for children, including poor social adaptation, less success in school, and increased anxiety and behavior issues. On the other hand, parents working together in a positive way predicts better overall adjustment for children.<\/p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><b><i>Highlights:\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Disagreeing with your partner about parenting is common. However, learning to work together in positive ways predicts better overall adjustment for children and a better parenting experience for you.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In order to work as a team, it\u2019s important to pin down some \u201crules\u201d. Some examples include:\u00a0<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What\u2019s the daily schedule\/routine?\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What\u2019s our nutrition approach?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What\u2019s our discipline approach?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What\u2019s our budget?\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How will we share household and parenting tasks?\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some tips to help parents agree on the rules:\u00a0<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communicate clearly and be open to each other\u2019s views.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Find the positives and praise each other\u2019s parenting skills.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Compromise and approach disagreements with flexibility.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try not to criticize or undermine your partner.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Capture your cohesion by regularly checking-in with one another and emphasizing your family unit.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember that your parenting approaches will change as your child grows. That means you\u2019ll revisit and adjust your rules over time.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>Okay, so parenting as a team is important, but how do you do it?<\/p>\n<h2>What are the \u201cRules\u201d?<\/h2>\n<p>That\u2019s up to you! But here are some examples of questions to pin down:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>What is the daily schedule (including sleep and mealtimes)?<\/li>\n<li>What is our nutrition approach?<\/li>\n<li>What is our discipline approach?<\/li>\n<li>What is our parenting budget (for clothing, toys, activities, etc.)?<\/li>\n<li>How will we share household and parenting tasks?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>On that last point, it\u2019s interesting to see the stats: A recent Pew Research Institute <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewsocialtrends.org\/2015\/11\/04\/raising-kids-and-running-a-household-how-working-parents-share-the-load\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">survey<\/a> found that the division of childcare for both parents who have full-time jobs outside the home panned out as:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Managing children\u2019s schedules\/activities\u201454% of moms do more, 6% of dads do more, and 39% shared equally<\/li>\n<li>Disciplining children\u201420% of moms do more, 17% of dads do more, and 61% shared equally<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Working together to feel good about sharing responsibilities will go a long way in keeping parenting together a positive experience.<\/p>\n<h2>How Do You Agree on The Rules?<\/h2>\n<p>Is getting on the same page easier said than done? The University of Florida\u2019s Department of Family, Youth, and Community Services has <a href=\"https:\/\/smartcouples.ifas.ufl.edu\/parentscoparents\/parents-as-partners\/\">some tips<\/a> if issues arise as you plot a parenting plan.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong> Communicate.<\/strong> This is the bedrock of partnership. Take time to not only constructively share your views, but also carefully listen to your partner\u2019s.<\/li>\n<li><strong> Find the positive.<\/strong> Find moments in which you feel good about your partner\u2019s parenting and point it out.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Compromise. <\/strong>Parenting together doesn\u2019t mean being exactly the same. Approaching disagreements with flexibility (and acknowledging that there is more than one \u201cright way\u201d to do things) goes a long way.<\/li>\n<li><strong> Don\u2019t undermine or criticize your partner.<\/strong> Not only does this interfere with constructive communication, it can negatively affect your little one if she hears or sees you doing it. You and your partner are your child\u2019s favorite people in the world, and it can feel confusing to her to observe one of you speaking or behaving negatively towards the other.<\/li>\n<li><strong> Capture cohesion. <\/strong>You\u2019re a unit. Emphasize doing fun things together as a family, and check in with each other regularly about how you both feel things are going.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Remember that The Rules are a Living Document<\/h2>\n<p>Your parenting approach will change as your child grows from a baby to a toddler, and eventually a teenager (<em>Oh, boy!<\/em>). Each stage will require re-examining and revising the details.<\/p>\n<p>Getting on the same parenting page with your partner can be tough, especially because many people have strong opinions about the \u201cright\u201d way to raise children. What\u2019s more, each child has his own unique temperament and may need different parenting approaches. Agreeing on how to parent together takes time, communication, and flexibility, but it\u2019s worth it for everyone, especially your child.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Disagreeing with your partner about parenting is a common issue couples face after having children. Deciding on a set of \u201crules,\u201d so to speak, can help you create a positive<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4245,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,25],"tags":[1687,1817,3275,3278,3291,3342],"age":[2857,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,2858,2859,2860,2861],"class_list":["post-4246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-social-emotional","category-parenting","tag-toddler","tag-marriage","tag-parenting-3","tag-baby-2","tag-social-emotional-2","tag-coparenting","age-pregnancy","age-0-3-months","age-4-6-months","age-7-9-months","age-10-12-months","age-13-15-months","age-16-18-months","age-19-21-months","age-22-24-months","age-25-27-months","age-28-30-months","age-31-33-months","age-34-36-months"],"translation":{"provider":"WPGlobus","version":"2.12.2","language":"en","enabled_languages":["en","es"],"languages":{"en":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false},"es":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false}}},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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