{"id":3128,"date":"2019-03-07T06:18:12","date_gmt":"2019-03-07T14:18:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/?p=3128"},"modified":"2020-10-20T09:09:29","modified_gmt":"2020-10-20T17:09:29","slug":"what-to-do-when-your-toddler-wont-share","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2019\/03\/07\/what-to-do-when-your-toddler-wont-share\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Do When Your Toddler Won\u2019t Share"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\"><p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-3127 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/administrator.babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/20163a-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/20163a-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/20163a-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/20163a.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Whether it\u2019s at a playdate, daycare, or park, toddlers and toys together usually leads to sharing squabbles.<\/p>\n<p>Rest assured your toddler\u2019s sharing woes aren\u2019t a reflection of bad parenting or caregiving, or a sign she\u2019ll grow up to be selfish. Self-centeredness in toddlerhood is <a href=\"https:\/\/administrator.babysparks.com\/2019\/03\/06\/why-is-it-so-hard-for-toddlers-to-share\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a normal developmental stage<\/a>. Sharing involves thinking about someone else\u2019s feelings, wants, and needs, and that develops slowly over the first several years of life.<\/p>\n<p>So what\u2019s a parent or caregiver to do?<\/p>\n<p>Try implementing these strategies to create a sharing-friendly environment. You\u2019ll need a healthy dose of patience, too \u2014 with support your toddler will get better and better at sharing, but ages 1 and 2 are primetime for sharing spats.<\/p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><b><i>Highlights:\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sharing is hard for toddlers because it involves thinking about someone else\u2019s feelings, wants, and needs and they haven&#8217;t developed the ability to do that yet.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Self-centeredness in toddlerhood is a normal part of development, and not a reflection of parenting or caregiving.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are a few tips for teaching toddlers how to share: <\/span>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Nurture the Building Blocks of Sharing<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: Encourage empathy, turn-taking, fairness, and cooperation.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Don\u2019t Force It<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: They\u2019re simply not developmentally ready for sharing yet, so don\u2019t force them or scold them when they don\u2019t share.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Gently Guide Them<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: For one year-olds, try using distraction and redirection during sharing spats. For two year-olds, get down on their level, empathize, and try to calmly offer possible solutions.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Respect Favorite Possessions<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: During playdates, put favorite toys or stuffed animals away to avoid meltdowns.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<h2>Tips for When Your Toddler Won&#8217;t Share<\/h2>\n<p><strong>Nurture the Building Blocks of Sharing <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is so important that we wrote <a href=\"https:\/\/administrator.babysparks.com\/2019\/03\/06\/the-building-blocks-of-sharing\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">an entire article about it<\/a>. The building blocks of sharing include perspective-taking, empathy, turn-taking, fairness, cooperation, and patience. Hefty concepts for a toddler, but you can start laying the foundation for them now.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Don\u2019t Force Your Child to Share or Discipline Her for Not Sharing<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Trying to force your toddler to share is like trying to force her to tie shoelaces; she\u2019s simply not developmentally ready to do it! Disciplining her by scolding her or putting her in time-out may confuse her more than teach her a lesson about sharing. Instead, try this:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gently Guide Sharing in Realtime<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>For young toddlers like brand-new one year-olds, intervening in sharing spats may be as simple as swooping in, distracting your toddler from the conflict, and redirecting her to something else.<\/p>\n<p>A toddler nearing her second birthday, on the other hand, may need a little more. Get down on her level and model perspective-taking and empathy. \u201cYou both want the red car. That\u2019s hard. Your friend is playing with it and doesn\u2019t want to stop yet.\u201d Or, \u201cI understand you want to play with the red car. But your friend is sad because you grabbed it from her.\u201d Then, offer possible solutions.<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to solutions, you can try different things. Some experts say to encourage little ones to play with something until they\u2019re \u201call done\u201d and then another child can have a turn. This, they say, teaches positive assertiveness, child-directed turn-taking, and patience. Sometimes \u201call done\u201d is too long, though, in which case you could try a toy timer: When toddlers want the same toy, set an alarm. One child plays with the toy until the alarm goes off, and then the other child gets a turn for the same amount of time.<\/p>\n<p>Like many areas of parenting, what works for you will depend on the situation, as well as your toddler\u2019s age, <a href=\"https:\/\/administrator.babysparks.com\/2019\/03\/11\/what-is-temperament\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">temperament<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/administrator.babysparks.com\/2018\/02\/14\/the-evolution-of-speech-12-24-months\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">language skills<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Respect Favorite Possessions<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sharing is hard enough for toddlers. Throw in a favorite stuffed animal and you may have a full-blown meltdown on your hands. If you\u2019re planning a playdate, put your child\u2019s favorite possessions away ahead of time. If your toddler gets upset when other children touch <em>any <\/em>of her toys, talk about special toys vs. sharing toys. The special ones she gets to put away, and the sharing ones are okay for other children to play with.<\/p>\n<p>Learning to share is a long process, but using these strategies helps lay the foundation for better sharing as she reaches preschool, kindergarten, and beyond.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Whether it\u2019s at a playdate, daycare, or park, toddlers and toys together usually leads to sharing squabbles. Rest assured your toddler\u2019s sharing woes aren\u2019t a reflection of bad parenting or<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3127,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2,23,25],"tags":[996,1904,1933],"age":[67,68,69,70,71],"class_list":["post-3128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cognitive","category-speech","category-social-emotional","category-parenting","tag-discipline","tag-behavior","tag-share","age-10-12-months","age-13-15-months","age-16-18-months","age-19-21-months","age-22-24-months"],"translation":{"provider":"WPGlobus","version":"2.12.2","language":"en","enabled_languages":["en","es"],"languages":{"en":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false},"es":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false}}},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.2 (Yoast SEO v25.2) - 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