{"id":3036,"date":"2019-03-01T11:36:30","date_gmt":"2019-03-01T19:36:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/?p=3036"},"modified":"2020-10-20T09:40:08","modified_gmt":"2020-10-20T17:40:08","slug":"caring-for-your-marriage-while-caring-for-your-baby","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2019\/03\/01\/caring-for-your-marriage-while-caring-for-your-baby\/","title":{"rendered":"Caring for Your Marriage While Caring for Your Baby"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-3035 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/administrator.babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/20153a-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/20153a-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/20153a-768x511.jpg 768w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/20153a.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>If you&#8217;re a parent of a new baby and your relationship with your partner is off track, you&#8217;re not alone.\u00a0Decades of international <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC2702669\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">research<\/a> show that a whopping two-thirds of couples experience relationship distress for up to three years after the birth of a baby.<\/p>\n<p>Why do two-thirds of post-baby couples experience relationships woes? And what can we learn from the other one-third about weathering the new-baby storm?<\/p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><b><i>Highlights:\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s incredibly common for couples to experience distress in their relationship after the birth of their baby.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many marriages suffer because of the weight of new responsibilities, declining intimacy, hormonal changes, lack of sleep, financial stress, and disagreements over parenting styles.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Researchers found that a strong friendship is paramount to healthy marriages after the birth of a baby.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Couples can nurture their friendship by practicing generosity, expressing gratitude, listening to each other, showing empathy, and making intimacy a priority.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s also important to divide responsibilities in a fair way, remain open to each other\u2019s opinions, and remember that you\u2019re in this together.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<h2>Why do so many marriages suffer after the birth of a baby?<\/h2>\n<p>Couples cite many reasons for bumps in the marital road after bringing a new baby into the mix, including these:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A shift from \u201chaving fun\u201d to \u201cmanaging the family\u201d<\/li>\n<li>A decline in intimacy<\/li>\n<li>Arguments about dividing responsibilities<\/li>\n<li>Irritability, or even hostility &#8212; often due to hormonal changes for the mother and lack of sleep for both<\/li>\n<li>Financial stress, including disagreements about how to spend money<\/li>\n<li>Disagreements about parenting style<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>What can we learn from couples who remain happy after the birth of a baby?<\/h2>\n<p>Research from the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Gottman Institute<\/a> found that couples who happily weather the new-baby storm had one key thing in common: A strong friendship, which helped them stay connected through the ups and downs of transitioning to a new family stage.<\/p>\n<p>How do these couples nurture a friendship in the days, weeks, months, and even years after the birth of a baby? By cultivating these 5 things:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Generosity<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Whether showing affection, having a forgiving attitude, expressing appreciation, or doing small acts of service like making the other a cup of coffee, generosity in its many forms is a mainstay of happy post-baby couples.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Interest in Each Other<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Remembering to ask personal questions about the other, and listening with interest and empathy goes a long way in generating feelings of fondness and support.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Partnership<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>They nurture a partnership by:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Dividing responsibilities in a way that feels fair to both<\/li>\n<li>Taking each other\u2019s opinions into account when making parenting decisions<\/li>\n<li>Fostering an attitude of being in the trenches together rather than experiencing challenges alone<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>A Gentle Approach to Conflict<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When conflict arises, they try to wait until they are calm to discuss it. They approach issues with willingness to hear the other\u2019s side and find a solution they\u2019re both comfortable with. <strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Intimacy<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s face it, even when women get the green-light to have sex after giving birth, it can be hard for parents to be intimate when they\u2019re exhausted, waiting for baby to wake up at any second, and probably have a breastmilk or formula on their shirts. Making intimacy a priority, though, by doing what they can to create romance and physical connection, is a hallmark of relationships that remain strong after baby comes along.<\/p>\n<p>The key takeaway is that during the busy baby days, small but deliberate acts of kindness and connection in a relationship have a big impact. If your marriage is suffering no matter what you try, a marriage therapist may be able to help. You can find a therapist in your area with unique knowledge about parenting-related relationship challenges <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/couples\/find-a-therapist\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you&#8217;re a parent of a new baby and your relationship with your partner is off track, you&#8217;re not alone.\u00a0Decades of international research show that a whopping two-thirds of couples<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3035,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[133,143,148,159,1817,3275,3278],"age":[64,65,66,67],"class_list":["post-3036","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","tag-depression","tag-happiness","tag-mindfulness","tag-romance","tag-marriage","tag-parenting-3","tag-baby-2","age-0-3-months","age-4-6-months","age-7-9-months","age-10-12-months"],"translation":{"provider":"WPGlobus","version":"2.12.2","language":"en","enabled_languages":["en","es"],"languages":{"en":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false},"es":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false}}},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.2 (Yoast SEO v25.2) - 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