{"id":2681,"date":"2019-02-13T08:42:03","date_gmt":"2019-02-13T16:42:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/?p=2681"},"modified":"2020-09-22T09:22:27","modified_gmt":"2020-09-22T17:22:27","slug":"toddler-discipline-18-24-months","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2019\/02\/13\/toddler-discipline-18-24-months\/","title":{"rendered":"Toddler Discipline: 18-24 Months"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\"><p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-2680 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/20110a-300x207.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"207\" srcset=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/20110a-300x207.jpg 300w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/20110a-768x530.jpg 768w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/20110a.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Welcome to the roller coaster! Full of exciting milestones, the toddler years are also prime time for frustrating parenting moments as your little one tests limits and deals with <a href=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2017\/10\/15\/the-evolution-of-emotions-part-2-your-babys-second-year\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">big emotions<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve read our article about <a href=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2018\/03\/30\/parenting-styles-why-they-matter\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">parenting styles<\/a>, you\u2019ve learned that over four decades of research points to <a href=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2018\/04\/02\/authoritative-parenting-a-balanced-approach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">authoritative parenting<\/a> as a gold-standard. Here are a few authoritative strategies to help you teach your toddler skills to respect expectations and manage her feelings.<\/p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><b><i>Highlights:\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Toddlers are famous for testing limits and dealing with big emotions! Here are a few authoritative strategies to help them manage feelings and respect expectations:\u00a0<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Handling Tantrums<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: Parents can distract and redirect behavior, learn when to ignore a tantrum, or when to connect and show empathy.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Using Natural &amp; Logical Consequences<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: Natural consequences are an automatic result of their behavior<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(they throw a toy, it breaks, they no longer have that toy)<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Logical consequences are imposed by parents, but are also a direct result of the behavior <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(they throw their snack, you tell them snack time is over).<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Designating Time Outs &amp; Time Ins<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: Time outs involve toddlers sitting still by themselves for a period of time. Experts recommend only trying this after 18 months. Time-ins involve sitting with children and discussing behavior for a period of time.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parents using these authoritative styles should remember to validate feelings, empathize, and explain consequences when disciplining.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<h2><strong>Tantrums<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>While they can start earlier, tantrums take center stage during months 18-24. They\u2019re a rite of passage for toddlers and exasperating for parents. Here are some tactics to try:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Prevent \u2014 <\/strong>Toddlers are generally more tantrum-prone when they\u2019re hungry, tired, or have access to off-limits stuff. Routines and <a href=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2018\/03\/19\/babyproofing-how-to-set-up-a-safe-home\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">babyproofing<\/a> can help ensure that your little one is well-fed, rested, and not tempted to play with things she shouldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Distract &amp; Redirect \u2014 <\/strong>For example, if you know your toddler loses it when Grandma leaves after a visit, have something fun ready to shift her attention right after saying goodbye.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Connect \u2014 <\/strong>This works well when your toddler\u2019s tantrum is due to tiredness, frustration or sadness. Try holding her and empathizing: \u201cYou\u2019re sad that your toy broke,\u201d until she calms down.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ignore \u2014 <\/strong>When your toddler is writhing on the floor screaming because you won\u2019t give her a cookie, ignoring her teaches her that tantrums are not an effective way to get your attention or what she wants. As soon as she stops, engage with her in a positive way so she learns the power of calming down.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stay Calm \u2014 <\/strong>Easier said than done! The thing is, none of your tantrum-busting strategies work if you\u2019re angry. It\u2019s perfectly okay for you to step away and take a deep breath (or several). Keep in mind that you are not alone; parents all over the world are dealing with this difficult but normal stage.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Natural &amp; Logical Consequences<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>At this stage toddlers can understand right and wrong, so natural consequences (the automatic result of their behavior) tend to work well. Let\u2019s say your toddler deliberately drops a toy behind the couch. You retrieve it and explain that you\u2019ll get it this time, but you don\u2019t want her to do it again. You guessed it, she does it again! The natural consequence is that she loses the toy, at least until the next time you clean under the couch.<\/p>\n<p>Like natural consequences, logical ones are connected to her behavior. Unlike natural consequences, they\u2019re imposed by you. For example, your child throws her cup on the floor during dinner. You pick it up, put it back on her tray and say: \u201cCups stay here. We do not throw cups.\u201d When she throws it again, the logical consequence is to say: \u201cNo more cup,\u201d and put it in the sink. You can offer her water after the meal if she\u2019s thirsty.<\/p>\n<p>Natural and logical consequences tend to be effective, but when they\u2019re not (or if your child exhibits \u201cred-light\u201d behaviors like hitting, biting or running away from you in a parking lot) you may consider time-outs or time-ins.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Time-Outs &amp; Time-Ins<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><strong>Time-Out \u2014<\/strong>Little ones do not like to have to stop what they\u2019re doing, sit still by themselves, and be ignored for a designated period of time. The idea is that time-outs are so unpleasant for them that they learn not to repeat the behavior that sent them there in the first place.<\/p>\n<p>The AAP recommends time-outs for \u201cred-light\u201d behaviors, only after your child reaches 18 months of age. A time-out should last for 1 minute per year of age, and follow these stages based on your child\u2019s ability to comply with them:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Hold your child on your lap, facing away from you.<\/li>\n<li>Guide her to sit in a chair and hold your hand on her lap or shoulder.<\/li>\n<li>Instruct her to sit in a chair (or other location) until the time-out is over.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>After the time-out is over, allow your child to resume what she was doing without further discussion or lecturing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Time-In \u2014 <\/strong>There\u2019s lots of debate in parenting circles about time-outs. Some say it doesn\u2019t actually teach the child anything, and suggest \u201ctime-ins\u201d instead. Various versions of time-in exist. A common one is to remove your child from the situation in which she\u2019s misbehaving and sit with her. Help her calm down, and talk about what she did wrong and what is expected. Another version is to set up an area in your home with books, stuffed animals, or other quiet activities. When your child misbehaves, send her to this time-in area, where she can learn to calm herself down and think about her behavior.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Things to Keep in Mind<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>A hallmark of authoritative parenting is remaining <a href=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2017\/10\/30\/raising-an-emotionally-intelligent-child\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">emotionally attuned<\/a>\u00a0to your child, even in the throes of button-pushing behavior. This means:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Focusing on the behavior rather than the child<\/strong>: \u201cNo biting,\u201d rather than \u201cbad girl.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Acknowledging &amp; validating feelings first, then stating the rule and following through with a consequence<\/strong>: \u201cYou\u2019re mad. It\u2019s okay to be mad, but it\u2019s not okay to hit me. Please go to time-out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Empathizing<\/strong>: \u201cI understand. It\u2019s sad to have to leave the park.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Explaining<\/strong>: \u201cWe do not bite because biting hurts.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Empowering your toddler by offering choices<\/strong>: \u201cYou can stop hitting me with your bear or I can take the bear away.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Try weaving humor into your discipline, which can be surprisingly powerful! You can find examples of how to do this <a href=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2019\/02\/04\/using-humor-in-discipline\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Above all, be consistent, which is key for effective discipline. Try to match specific behaviors with specific consequences, and implement them every time.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Welcome to the roller coaster! Full of exciting milestones, the toddler years are also prime time for frustrating parenting moments as your little one tests limits and deals with big<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2680,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,25],"tags":[988,996],"age":[69,70,71],"class_list":["post-2681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-social-emotional","category-parenting","tag-authoritative-parents","tag-discipline","age-16-18-months","age-19-21-months","age-22-24-months"],"translation":{"provider":"WPGlobus","version":"2.12.2","language":"en","enabled_languages":["en","es"],"languages":{"en":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false},"es":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false}}},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.2 (Yoast SEO v25.2) - 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