{"id":21321,"date":"2021-04-19T08:22:16","date_gmt":"2021-04-19T16:22:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/?p=21321"},"modified":"2021-05-20T08:53:23","modified_gmt":"2021-05-20T16:53:23","slug":"how-to-use-positive-language-with-your-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2021\/04\/19\/how-to-use-positive-language-with-your-child\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Use Positive Language with Your Child"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-21325\" src=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/20483a-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"positive language\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/20483a-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/20483a-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/20483a.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>As parents and caregivers, we may feel like when it comes to positive language, we\u2019ve got it down. We constantly tell our children how much we love them, marvel at their latest scribbles, and throw small celebrations every time they utter a new word. While this type of communication is certainly positive and promotes healthy bonding, sometimes we forget about how often we say things like, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">no<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">don\u2019t touch<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">stop right there!<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every day, toddlers become more independent and curious to explore the world around them. That leaves us in a position to protect, shield, set boundaries, and frequently use words like <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">no, stop,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">don\u2019t<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Thankfully, there are easy ways to tweak<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2020\/05\/07\/why-tone-matters-when-talking-to-babies-toddlers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b> the way we speak<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to use more positive language so we can provide a safe and fun environment for our children to learn and grow.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><b><i>Highlights:\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Toddlers are often told <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">no, stop<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">don\u2019t<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> because as they become more independent, parents and caregivers naturally set more boundaries.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When little ones repeatedly hear <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">no<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it can lead to frustration, unwanted behavior, and tantrums.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Using positive language can help them be more self-confident, empathetic, and make better choices.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parents can change their language by reminding them of the behavior they wish to see, showing them what they <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">c<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">an do instead of what they<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">can\u2019t do, and providing options.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Use Positive Language?\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s probably not hard to imagine why it\u2019s frustrating for little ones to be told repeatedly that they can\u2019t do something. For us, telling our child that they can\u2019t put a coin they found on the ground in their mouth makes sense! We know all the reasons why this is dangerous. Unfortunately, toddlers haven\u2019t yet developed the reasoning skills to put it all together. For them, persistent <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">no\u2019s<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can add up, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2019\/10\/25\/toddler-tantrums-preventing-tantrums-before-they-start\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b>sparking more tantrums<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and making them feel confused, confined, angry, and frustrated.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/classes\/browse\/lang-en\/topic-3\/Emotions_&amp;_Behavior\/age-all\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b>Browse our online classes to learn how to manage and prevent tantrums.\u00a0<\/b><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Adjusting our requests and responses to reflect positive language is a fairly simple way to produce big changes in the way our kids think, feel, and process new information. Using more positive language can make them more self-confident, empathetic, and help them learn to choose better behavior.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Use More Positive Language\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So how do we say<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">yes<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">when we mean no? First and foremost, it\u2019s important to be more aware. Start small by paying more attention to how many times behaviors are halted, curiosity is cut short, or requests are shut down. This helps us identify the moments when our language could use some adjusting. Additionally, parents and caregivers can incorporate more positive language in the following ways:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Offer Choices<\/b><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2021\/01\/27\/why-its-important-to-give-your-toddler-choices\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b>Allowing toddlers to choose <\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">between two options has a lot of benefits, like boosting their independence and allowing them to feel more in control. Offering choices also helps parents and caregivers avoid saying <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">no<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> too often. For instance, if your tiny adventurer is playing too close to the pool, instead of saying, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t go near there!<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you can say, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wow, you\u2019re on the move today! Do you want to play over here in the grass or go inside and do an activity together?<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> This helps distract them from the unwanted behavior while providing them with safer choices.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Tell Them What They Can Do\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Showing your toddler what they can do instead of what they can\u2019t do has a lot of advantages for both parents and kids. It helps us use more positive language and it helps them tap into better behavior. If you see your toddler attempting to draw on a wall, you can respond by saying, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes! Let\u2019s draw today! But let\u2019s make sure we only do it on this paper.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b>Remind Them of the Behavior You Do Want to See<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can be difficult to dig deep for positive language when you see your child knocking over their brother\u2019s LEGO tower. Reminding them of the behavior you do want to see can be more effective than simply saying <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">no<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">stop that<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Calming statements like, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We love each other, so we take care of each other\u2019s toys,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can shed a positive light on moments that require discipline.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Provide Simple but Clear Explanations\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As busy parents and caregivers, it\u2019s easy to skip over explaining why we\u2019re saying <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">no<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. However, telling them why they can\u2019t do something helps them learn. Instead of saying, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t put that coin in your mouth<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you can say, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I know it looks shiny, but putting a coin in our mouths can make us very sick.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> This gives them the opportunity to make a connection between a behavior and a consequence.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Try a <\/b><b><i>Yes, Later<\/i><\/b><b> Approach<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As toddlers\u2019 language skills grow, so do their requests! <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can I have a cookie? Can we go to the park? Can I call grandma?<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> As much as we\u2019d like to grant all their wishes, it\u2019s not always a good time for cookies or playing outside. As your little one begins to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2020\/03\/30\/developing-a-sense-of-time\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b>understand time<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you can try a <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">yes, later<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> approach. For example, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes you can have a cookie, after we have a healthy dinner first.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> This may spark some frustration, since they\u2019re still learning what <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">later<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">after<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> means, but it does allow parents and caregivers to use more positive words while introducing toddlers to<\/span><b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/2019\/02\/15\/the-evolution-of-following-directions\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> sequence words<\/a>.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can be tough to be a curious toddler in a world of limits and rules! Just remember that our words have power and a little positive language can go a long way.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As parents and caregivers, we may feel like when it comes to positive language, we\u2019ve got it down. We constantly tell our children how much we love them, marvel 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