{"id":19194,"date":"2021-01-12T12:30:18","date_gmt":"2021-01-12T20:30:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/?p=19194"},"modified":"2021-04-16T07:56:24","modified_gmt":"2021-04-16T15:56:24","slug":"toddler-favoritism-what-does-it-mean-what-do-you-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/2021\/01\/12\/toddler-favoritism-what-does-it-mean-what-do-you-do\/","title":{"rendered":"Toddler Favoritism: What Does it Mean &#038; What Do You Do?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-19202\" src=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/20474a-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"toddler favoritism\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/20474a-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/20474a-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/babysparks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/20474a.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>It\u2019s true. Toddlers play favorites! While you may feel like the only parent in the world who\u2019s been snubbed by your little one, it actually happens <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">a lot.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> It\u2019s incredibly common for a toddler to wake up one morning and decide that they prefer one parent over the other, or vise-versa. One day they\u2019re gazing up at you lovingly, and the next you feel like you\u2019re in high school all over again vying for the attention of the cool kids.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><b><i>Highlights:<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Toddlers favoring one parent over the other is very common!<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parent favoritism is often the result of feeling more connected to the parent they spend more time with. It can also be a personality thing, or a toddler exercising their independence.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re the \u201cunfavored\u201d parent, remember that:<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s not personal.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Resenting your partner or co-parent can make it worse.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Building in more 1-on-1 time with your toddler can help.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Patience pays off; favoritism changes with time!\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<h2><\/h2>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Toddlers Play Favorites<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Toddlers can play favorites for a variety of reasons. The most obvious are time, attention, and routines. Remember that having daily <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/the-benefits-of-routines-for-babies-and-toddlers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">routines<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can make a child feel safe and secure, so if mom is the one the child shares most routines with, she may be the default favorite. Sometimes it can be gender or personality specific. Or, maybe they\u2019re just exercising their right to be <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/encouraging-your-toddlers-independence\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">independent<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and choose what they want (I want Dada to do it!).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regardless of the reason for toddler favoritism, it\u2019s important to know how to deal with it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tips for Dealing with Toddler Favoritism\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>Don\u2019t Take it Personally\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is easier said than done. It can feel hurtful to have your child push you out of the bathroom because they <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">want mom<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to help them brush their teeth. However, this doesn\u2019t mean your child doesn\u2019t love you, or that they\u2019re trying to hurt your feelings. They\u2019re not that emotionally sophisticated yet! They show preference for one parent the same way they show preference for a particular piece of clothing. Just keep in mind that it\u2019s not personal, and it\u2019s temporary.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Don\u2019t Resent Your Partner<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Toddlers choose favorites on their own. Chances are your toddler\u2019s internal instinct towards attachment and safety is guiding their favoritism at this point. Your partner is not coaching them or pushing them to behave this way. Even though these acts of favoritism can leave a bitter taste in your mouth, it\u2019s important to work this out together. In addition, remember that toddlers can be more perceptive than you think. If you start acting resentful towards your partner, your toddler may start to pick up on it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Shoot for Some One-on-One Time\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try to carve out some one-on-one bonding time with your little one. Take a walk. Run errands together. Grab some frozen yogurt. It doesn\u2019t really matter what the activity is, it\u2019s simply about spending more time together.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Share Caretaking Duties<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s common for one parent to handle the bulk of caretaking duties, such as meals, baths, and bedtime, which can be primetime bonding activities (unless your toddler is throwing a tantrum over eating peas). To help strike more of a balance, try splitting up the caretaking duties or do them together. Spending more time with the unfavored parent in daily routines can help revive the bonding experience.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Support the Unfavored Parent<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re the parent who currently gets to be the favorite, remember to speak highly of your partner throughout the day and name drop as much as possible. \u201cDo you know who loves this book? Your momma! I bet she really wants to read it with you when she gets home.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Don\u2019t Force It<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pushing a toddler to spend time with the unfavored parent can actually make things worse. Remember, throughout this favorite-parent stage, it\u2019s important to do what works, not what you think is <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">right<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. When you force it, you\u2019ll likely create unnecessary <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.babysparks.com\/toddler-tantrums-preventing-tantrums-before-they-start\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">tantrums<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. The goal is to respond with empathy, understanding, and love. You\u2019ll be there for them when they\u2019re ready.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While it never feels good to be the unfavored parent, remember that your day will come! Children switch up their favorites all the time. Sooner or later, this preference stage will end, and you won\u2019t feel like you\u2019re being ignored by the popular kid in the house. Stay strong and keep keepin\u2019 on!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s true. Toddlers play favorites! While you may feel like the only parent in the world who\u2019s been snubbed by your little one, it actually happens a lot. It\u2019s incredibly<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":19202,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,25],"tags":[1687,1904,3275,3291],"age":[67,68,69,70,71,2858,2859,2860,2861],"class_list":["post-19194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-social-emotional","category-parenting","tag-toddler","tag-behavior","tag-parenting-3","tag-social-emotional-2","age-10-12-months","age-13-15-months","age-16-18-months","age-19-21-months","age-22-24-months","age-25-27-months","age-28-30-months","age-31-33-months","age-34-36-months"],"translation":{"provider":"WPGlobus","version":"2.12.2","language":"en","enabled_languages":["en","es"],"languages":{"en":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false},"es":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false}}},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.2 (Yoast SEO v25.2) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Toddler Favoritism: What Does it Mean &amp; What Do You Do? 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